Friday, May 25, 2012

Creative Curse Word Contest

This contest was inspired by one of my FB friends who read my post about Twitter Tips last week. She loved the part about [insert favorite curse word] and messaged me her favorite curse word (which had me rolling). Thus, a contest idea was born. I have a character in my current wip that uses curse words--um, creatively, and I'm always curious about what curse words others use. I want to know what your most creative/funniest curse word (or phrase) is. I'm going to pick my favorite response (meaning this contest is entirely subjective), and the winner gets a prize. Easy, peasy. The only thing I ask is that you either follow the blog or subscribe to the posts or newsletter in order to enter.

RULES: Leave your creative curse word or phrase in the comments below. Contest ends: Fri. June 1st at midnight EST.

PRIZE: The YA Book of Your Choice sent to anywhere The Book Depository ships.

OFFENDED BY CURSE WORDS? Don't enter (and why the f*#k are you still reading this?) ;)



  1. Haha. Brilliant idea, Kristi.
    I don't curse often, I figure I have better ways of expressing myself and any swearing should be saved for when I really need to make an impact, but I'm currently on the hunt for book-ish "curses." My list only has two words, though--Scheiss (German for...well, I suppose you can guess) which I picked up from Babe in Boyland. And Puck, which I don't use often, because people don't get the Robin Goodfellow reference.

    Thanks so much. This was so fun. =D
    (I've been a long-time GFC stalker)

    ~Riv Re
    Riv Reads

  2. My current favorite swear word is dumbass. You know, those people who do ridiculous things with no thought to the outcome AND then expect the rest of us to fix it for them? I don't swear much - I think damn is the only swear in my WIP - but it is disheartening just how often I've used dumbass recently. "He's a dumbass." "That was a dumbass think to do." "Totally dumbass." On TV last night, a kid with fireworks IN his ass - yeah, dumbass totally applies.

    This should be fun! writing(at)marlenemoss(dot)com

  3. What a fantastic contest idea! I wish I were more creative with my cursing. Mostly I just say "flippin'". This contest reminds me of when my son was in preschool and got terribly angry with me. In the heat of rage, he yelled, "Mommy, you are poison, mud and a gun!!" Those were the absolute worst things he could think of. I suppose my laughter wasn't the effect he was going for though.

  4. In my hf mg novel I had a character that said, "What the bloody hell is that?" But on revisions I changed it to "What's that bloomin thing?" It's set in England during WWII.


    Fun post, Kristi!

  5. Petarded a verb taken from Shakespeare's phrase of hoisted up by your own petard. When someone does something completely stupid, wreckless, or brutishly harmful to self and others. The Shakespearian phrase was a Middle Ages explosive device that a person would light a fuse to a barrel of gunpowder. Sometimes the device prematurely detonated or the person setting the charge might not take cover far enough away hence blowing themselves up. Petarded is the action that involves over the top jackass like behavior.

    1. Ugh, the device didn't give me an option to put my name to take credit or scorn from my post. But I am the entity known as Wild Ape at wildape2005@yahoo.com who suggested the above curse word.

    2. LOL--thanks for the info. I was just about to tell people not to forget to leave their emails in case they win.

    3. My drill seargent would have several. He could curse for two minutes straight and not repeat himself.

  6. Okay, here I go.
    "What the f*ck are you on about" or "Are you f*cking kidding me?" I've been changing my favourite F-word to frok in my lame attempts to clean up my potty mouth :)
    Great post!


  7. well you know my favorite but it's hardly original. So here is a random sampling of favorite curse words from mi famiglia for your enjoyment. The 3 yr old prefers poopy. It is a multi-purpose word, quite versatile, serving as a noun, verb, and adjective (not an adverb but if you're three, who needs adverbs). He can use it to signify happiness and excitement, abject disappointment, and raging anger. And it has internal alliteration so it is quite perfect as words go. My 10 yr old has taken to telling his parents that we "sicken" him. Though not exactly a curse word, it gets the job done and earns time in one's room. My 8 yr old has the cleanest mouth, doesn't say much worse than stupid, and recently sobbed when his mother said damn and hell after nearly getting killed by a bad driver. I think he may not be my child. The hubs and I prefer prison slang, 'cause dats how we roll, bi-otch. But that is joking around cussing. For real, I'm angry don't mess with me cussing, I usually go with the F bomb if there are not small people around. How can you mess with a classic? Or if I want to catch the hubs off guard I will throw out something really trashy that a nice girl like me wouldn't normally say and I won't type here. You'll have to use your imagination. :) KimD

  8. I have a friend who doesn't use curse words so when she's angry, she would recite all the fast food joint names e.g. Pizza Hutt, Kentucky Fried Chicken, White Castle etc. And believe me, with the right intonation, you can make anything sound like a cuss!! Bet you'll never look at McDonald's the same way again, eh?

    GFC follower.


    1. Thanks! I don't cuss(only once on purpose, as sounding out curses written in an accent to figure out what is being said doesn't count, and it was the mildest real curse word: h*ll) so I'm going to start useing McDonalds, which I loathe, as a curse.

  9. I like "bloody" and "freakin'" for stringing together sentences of frustration, but when I'm "in the moment" of upset/shock, what seems to come out is $h!t - which always makes people around me make the funniest face, and then I crack up laughing and the moment's diffused :o)

    I like when people find fun, quirky ways to express their cursing needs, especially if it's "undercover" enough that it goes right over the heads of those who may be more offended, hehe ...


  10. I write fantasy and sci-fi, so my most creative swears are:

    by the stars!
    farehn spawn ("farehn" is the word for demon)

    And then there's always the classic "son of an orc!" or "Merlin's shriveled left..." Well, I'll let you finish that sentence. :P


  11. Mung Cookie

    I won't go into details, but it's an Oreo cookie with the middle scraped out and replaced with mung.

    I was unaware of the first definition of mung in the Urban Dictionary when I wrote the above (I just looked it up now, my original source said something different, but that one will do). I won't repeat it here. Just remember, some things, once seen, cannot ever be un-seen. Look it up at your peril.

    I will provide the first half of UD's definition #5 (the one I was previously aware of) however, "The worst possible thing that could be imagined, conceived, or performed by the human mind." The second half (an example) is not something I'll repeat here.

    And have a nice day! :)

  12. Oh, forgot addy.

    mfenger at shaw dot ca

  13. When I write, most of my cursing is related to my MC's magical abilities. That's the great thing about fantasy: you don't have to have a terrible potty mouth to get the job done, you just have to make up some curse words. The magic is elemental, so often cursing will boil down to Earth and Fire! or some such thing. Conversely, the characters often say things like "thank the elements" when they're happy or relieved.

    In real life, I am the queen of AssDamnHell. I don't mind cursing. Even the Mythbusters proved it's good for you.

    Then again, I tend to mostly use "milder" curses, such as "crap on a cracker" or a personal favorite, "Jiminy Crickets." Sometimes I go for a big one, and then realize there are kids around (who are not my kids). I do my best to control that, and often end up with "Shhhhhoes and socks" or "Fuuuudgicles."

    LauraHughesAuthor (at) gmail (dot) com

  14. Every now and then I feel guilty about how much I cuss and I resolve to be more careful of what comes out of my mouth. The result is me yelling out things like "Schnitzel!" and "Cheese and crackers!". This only lasts about a 4-5 days though before I lapse back into my bad behavior :)

    throuthehaze at gmail dot com

  15. I've been calling my 18 month old "You little Shniker" (must be said in a British accent as "Shnika") Just tonight my wife told me, "Stop calling her that! It sounds like a swearword!" You can thank my devious little children-spawn for inspiring such made-up profanity.

    rchancock (at) hotmail (dot) com

  16. Well I was born in Texas and often heard....no kidding..."Sh*t a brick and slap your Grandma!"
    Add the southern twang to it and you've got one mean phrase lol


  17. I used to call my brothers tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumbass, it actually suit them.

  18. I like douch schnochsl, but I'm sure that this isn't a real swearword ... (is it?)
    And thanks to Rick Riordan I often say "Schist!"
    Normally I use German swearwords, though. Like Scheissenhausen! and Kniebeisser. Oh and don't forget the "Merde!" ;)

  19. I forgot my email address (sweet arse): fabiennejuline (at) hotmail (dot) de

  20. I like calling people, 'Fuck-Shovel.' But if I have to keep it PG, Cork Sucking Ice Hole is close enough to be satisfying:)

    feakysnucker (at) hotmail dot com.

  21. My favorite curse word? I'll have to think about that one because I rarely curse out loud (like, once a month). In my mind, though, I do occassionally have enraged conversations with a person (who I'm enraged at/with). One of my favorites is donkey-Gollum. This refers to someone who is both a self-centered jerkface (and he/she knows it) and tiringly stupid - a deadly combination. So that's my self-invented cuss word. (: